Self-Esteem vs. Self-Confidence: Understanding the Difference and Building Both

“People never rise above their opinion of themselves” - Peter Sage

Introduction

Self-confidence and self-esteem are two different terms that are often lumped together. Although they are related, the two are distinct concepts with different meanings. This article explains the difference between the two and provides tips on how to build both.

Understanding Self-Esteem

What is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem refers to a person’s evaluation of their worth or value. It comes from the Latin word aestimare which means to rate, appraise, value, or estimate. It can also be referred to as one’s sense of self-love. It does not come from one’s abilities or skills but from who you are as a person. 

High self-esteem means having a positive view of oneself while low self-esteem means the opposite. 

Factors that influence self-esteem

Several factors influence the development of a person’s self-esteem. This includes inherent personality traits, interactions with the environment, the prevailing culture, and the experiences an individual encounters throughout life. 

These factors can be categorized into two: nurture and nature. The interplay of these two impacts a person’s level of self-esteem as they go through life.

Related: Top 5 TED Talks to Give You a Boost of Self-Confidence

Ranges of self-esteem

A person’s level of self-esteem may fluctuate depending on one’s experiences. Self-esteem levels can range from low to overly high. 

• Overly high self-esteem - Individuals with overly high self-esteem feel superior to others and are often self-indulgent. They may come across as arrogant and entitled. They easily criticize others while discounting their own flaws.
• Health self-esteem - People with a healthy sense of self-worth are accepting of both their strengths and weaknesses. They have realistic expectations of themselves and act accordingly.
• Low self-esteem - Low self-esteem individuals have negative self-worth. They feel like they’re inferior to others and have the tendency to overly focus on their flaws instead of their strengths. People with low self-esteem may find it hard to accept compliments as they may feel that they don’t deserve them.

Benefits of having a healthy self-esteem

Having a healthy sense of self benefits not just the mood but also an individual’s relationships and experiences. Healthy self-esteem helps you build positive, non-toxic connections with others. It also allows you to do your best at whatever you intend to do without stressing over what others might think.

Signs of a healthy self-esteem

• Assertiveness in expressing one's needs and opinions
• Confidence in one's ability to make decisions
• Ability to form secure and honest relationships
• Ability to break off toxic relationships
• Resilience
• Having realistic expectations of oneself and the world
• Not being overly critical of others

Signs of low self-esteem

• Tendency to see things as black and white, no in-between
• Tendency to overgeneralize things
• Focusing only on the negative aspects of life
• Jumping to conclusions
• Mistaking feelings for facts
• Assuming that everything negative that happens has something to do with them

How to Build Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is at the core of one's personality, attitude, and perspective of life. That is why cultivating a healthy level of self-worth should be at the center of your self-improvement efforts. If you think you need to improve your opinion of yourself, follow these tips.

• Identify and challenge negative self-talk

Negative self-talk refers to the inner dialogue that undermines your self-worth and leaves you feeling inadequate and incapable. Perhaps you don't even notice that you're doing it. The trick is to practice positive self-talk to yourself with intention. 

How would you talk to a good friend who is in the same situation? The next time you find yourself laying down the negative dialogue in your head, give the script a positive spin. Look for evidence of the opposite. Challenge the negative talk and remember that you need to be a friend to yourself.

• Practice self-compassion and self-care

This means taking care of yourself not just physically but also emotionally, and mentally. This includes eating well, getting enough sleep, exercising, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

• Set achievable goals and celebrate successes

Accomplishing goals, no matter how small, builds up your sense of self. Start setting up small, realistic goals that you can easily accomplish and use that motivation to set pursue things that make you feel good and alive. 

Most importantly, pair your goals with rewards. This will give you something to look forward to.

• Surround yourself with positive and supportive people

When you spend time with people who are kind, encouraging, and uplifting, you are more likely to feel good about yourself. These individuals can also provide you with feedback and support, which can help you grow and develop in positive ways.

Understanding Self-Confidence

What is self-confidence

Self-confidence is a term that refers to a person’s trust in their abilities, qualities, and judgments. A person who is self-confident feels that they are capable of handling certain situations. For example, you can be self-confident in your public speaking skills but may not feel that confident about singing.

Factors that influence self-confidence

A few factors impact an individual’s level of self-confidence. 

• Past successes or failures can increase or decrease a person’s self-confidence in a certain area
• Learned skills and inherent talents
• The presence of a support system. People who are always encouraged by a supporting partner, family, or group of friends may feel more self-confident.
• Physical and mental well-being

The importance of having a healthy self-confidence

Having a healthy level of self-confidence is an important ingredient for personal growth. When you're self-confident, you are more willing to take risks and are more resilient to criticism. More importantly, a healthy level of self-confidence helps you move from one goalpost to the next so you can improve and be better.

Signs of a healthy self-confidence

• A clear understanding of your own capabilities and limits
• Ability to assert and express one’s opinion
• Openness to feedback
• Being a good listener
• Being able to ask for help
• Unafraid to make mistakes
• Seeking approval only from people who matter

Signs of low self-confidence

• Feeling the need to prove themselves to other people
• Being less likely to voice their own opinions or offer new ideas
• Being risk-averse
• Being more likely to adapt submissive behaviors at work and in one’s personal life
• Being more inclined to stick with the status quo

Related: Top 5 TED Talks to Give You a Boost of Self-Confidence

How to increase self-confidence

• Sit or stand confidently

The way you carry yourself can impact your mental outlook, as evidenced by the simple hack of a "power pose." A confident posture sends signals to the brain that leads to increased feelings of confidence.

• Practice mindfulness

Always be present. Constant rumination and worrying undermine your sense of confidence. When this becomes a habit, you can get lost in your own imagined doom instead of paying attention to important matters. By regaining your presence, you can put your focus back on whatever it is you're doing so that you can give it your best and produce the best possible outcomes.

• Reframe your nervousness as excitement

Feeling nervous when you’re about to do something important is normal. The important thing is to not let it completely annihilate your presence of mind. Try to think of your nervous jitters as a feeling of excitement. This will help bolster your presence instead of diminishing it.

• Move your body. Exercise regularly

Exercise releases hormones that help make you feel good. Not only that but the physical rewards of exercise can also bolster your self-view. That means an improved body image and a positive self-perception. Exercise can also make you feel more in command of yourself and your physical abilities. 

• Visualize confidence

According to neuroscience, picturing yourself achieving a particular goal or accomplishing a particular task is crucial to getting it done. By stimulating the brain in the same way as an actual experience, visualization helps you prepare yourself for the real thing, whether that’s an action or a state of being.

• Give yourself permission to make mistakes

Trust in the process. Making mistakes while doing something difficult is something you should expect and even look forward to as they help you find areas for improvement so you can move up the skill ladder. 

Reframing the idea of making mistakes from a negative concept to something normal or even beneficial will make you more resilient as you tackle difficult and important tasks.

• Accomplish small goals

Confidence builds up on top of previous successes. So what better way to show yourself that you can than accomplishing goals? You don’t have to go for big goals right away. Set up small goals that you can easily take on. The feeling of accomplishment you get from completing that goal will give you the motivation you need to set up bigger ones.

• Ask for help and help others

Feeling a sense of belonging or being socially accepted is crucial to a person’s sense of self. It also helps build up self-confidence, knowing that people are more willing to help than you might think. A lot of people are hesitant to ask for help for fear of appearing incapable or incompetent. You might be surprised how ready people are to lend a helping hand. Don’t be afraid to seek help. And when somebody does the same, prepare to do your part.

Differences Between Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence

Overall, self-esteem is about self-value while self-confidence is about self-trust. It is possible for a person to feel self-confident about certain things and still have low self-esteem. Likewise, a person can also have a healthy level of self-esteem and not feel confident about their athletic or cooking skills.

Self-confidence is easier to build as it can be built on skills or achievements. It takes work but at least the work you need to do is quite clear. Meanwhile, it’s not always evident what it takes for a person to love themselves.

Self-esteem and self-confidence may not always occur together and it takes conscious effort and courage to keep both at healthy levels. 

Conclusion

Self-esteem and self-confidence are two essential components of one's self-perception and well-being. While they are often used interchangeably, it is important to understand that they are distinct constructs that require different approaches to develop and maintain.

Self-esteem refers to one's overall sense of self-worth and acceptance, while self-confidence relates to one's belief in their abilities to accomplish a specific task or goal. By understanding the difference between the two and working to cultivate both, individuals can enhance their overall sense of self and lead more fulfilling lives.

Remember, building self-esteem and self-confidence is an ongoing process that requires patience, effort, and self-awareness. Trust in the process and know that you're worth it.

With that said, setting personal goals is often pushed into the backburner especially when the going gets tough. Make sure you stay on top of your self-care goals with TaskSpur, the ultimate life management tool. Check it out!

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References:

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